So today is Sweetest Day…whatever that means. I didn’t have a date. But I did ask a guy on a date (first time for everything) and he said no (last time for everything). I don’t think girls should ask guys out on dates. In my case though, I have history with this guy so I didn’t really expect him to say yes anyway….I guess that’s a good and bad thing. It’s good thing because my hopes weren’t sky-high. I was really only doing it to prove to myself and my friend that I wasn’t lying when I said the only person I wanted to go on a date with would certainly say no. It’s a bad thing because I’m like, “would it really kill you to spend an hour or two with me?”. Ugh. I will say though, he let me down easy. Said he had other plans (but made no effort to reschedule). I need to remember that when I’m letting men down myself. I normally go the “ignore him until he gets a clue” route. Not sure which is worse at this point.
Why do I choose these guys? There will be much more on my penchant for men who are so bad for me later. As for my Sweetest Day rejection. Oh well, whatever. At least no one can say I didn’t try.
I’ve decided I’m done trying with men until 2010. Nothing good can come out of 2009. I was an emotional train wreck during the end of 2008 and for most of 2009. It’s time for me to pull it together, figure out my life and reevaluate what I’m doing. I deserve better than what I’ve settled for. When I think about it, the guys that I’ve been wasting my romantic feelings on don’t like or care about me for real and no amount of desire on my part is going to change that. I need to redirect my affection ASAP. Am I still going to be in this place mentally in 2010? I hope not. I need to begin today though.
If only I knew how…
Alissa Henry 