Let Hope Die…
I know I’m super-duper-luper late, but I finally rented “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” from RedBox and it was everything I expected….and the reason I didn’t go see it in the theater: a rom-com (short for “romantic comedy and the politically correct term for chick-flick), centered around a womanizing man who is confronted by the hearts he broke and ultimately sees the error in his ways. He apologizes to the girl he hurt the most and they live happily ever after.
Does this happen in real life?
A woman clearly wrote this movie. Probably one who fantasizes about the one who wrecked her, the one “she-was-right-to-let-walk-away” coming back into her life a changed human and still in love with her. It was a cute movie, but I have to wonder if this ever happens to anyone outside of the heroine in our DVD collections?
What if we just found men who got it right the first time? What if we didn’t have to experience excruciating heartbreak at the hands of a heartless man and wait for him to come to his senses, in order to find our personal happiness in love? I’m all about second chances, but what if we just found a man who got it right the first time?
It’s a weird boomerang that throws you away and then it comes back. That’s not natural. And it’s not realistic. Sure, it happens to some women at some point — and those are the stories that we feed off of like they’re every day occurrences. Those happily-ever-after scenarios give women (like me) unhealthy hope that our very own “Mr. Big” will look into our eyes a’la Season Finale of Sex and the City and say “[insert-your-own-name] you’re the one”. Finally, after SIX years.
The thing that bothered me the most in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is that the girl hadn’t moved on since he left her crying. Years had passed. God forbid, I wake up in 2010 remotely interested in any guy who broke my heart in years past. It’s likely, considering my history, but it’s definitely not desirable.
I just want to get it right the first time. I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me. No more heartbreak for me. No more unavailable men. No more emotionally closed-off. No more ex (0r current) girlfriends lurking in the shadows. No more excuses. No more secrets. No more games. No more bad timing. No more wondering. No more waiting.
Seriously, movies like these give women (like me) false hope. We lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better. We think that one day “HE” will see us for what we’re worth and determine that he made a mistake. He will fall in love with us like we always wanted. It sounds so silly written down, but isn’t that what a lot of women think? We think the tears, the sadness, the hurt, the trying, the blatant stupidity on our part will all be worth it. As much as we tell our friends “I’m done”. We’re not really done. We’re still holding onto hope.
Let hope die.
I came to a conclusion the other day: There are some people who will hurt you and they will never be sorry. That’s a terribly discomforting thought, but I have to acknowledge its truth or else I will continue to expect something that will never manifest. What is the point of that? I liked the quote in the movie “the best way to get over someone is to truly care about someone else.”
I’m still waiting on my happily ever after…and despite movies like the aformentioned, my happily ever after is not coming in the form of a man who bulldozed my heart in the past.
Besides, there’ s no such thing as ghosts.