The Difference

The other night, I was sitting at home alone chilling and watching Friends on DVD (I LOVE that show). Suddendly, I decided to go back to work. I figured I could get some work done and get ahead for the next day.

Once I got to my desk, I thought about how silly it was that I was sitting at work all alone on a Thursday night trying to get ahead. I need a life, I remember thinking to myself. Then, like the social networking junkie that I am, I updated my Facebook status: “Who puts on sweats and goes to the office at 10pm to do work? #thelifeofasinglegirl.” A few days later, one of my guy friends commented on my status: “So are you saying you wouldn’t do that if you weren’t single? Thats silly.” At first I was annoyed at his statement, but then I began to think…

Would I be different if I were in a serious relationship?

My initial answer is “of course not!” but I really cannot be so sure. I haven’t been in a relationship in about 3 years, before that I spent 2.5 years in a relationship that was long distance nearly 75% of the time. I haven’t been in a normal relationship since high school and I’ve never been in once since being on my own. So would I? Would I be different?

I work in the TV dept of my church and I spend the majority of my time at work. By majority, I mean I work seven days a week. Just last week I clocked 68 hours. I live at my job. If I had a relationship would this be different?

On my time off from work, I work on theFreshXpress, I take care of my dad’s estate and I try to keep my life afloat as far as bills, cleaning and errands are concerned. I don’t really have time for an awesome social life — or a real desire for one, but that’s a different story. If I had a boyfriend, where would he fit in? Would I be different?

I have shopaholic tendencies and love spending hours upon hours in clothing stores. This isn’t a recent development in my life, but my shopping habit has gotten a lot more destructive since my father passed. If I had a boyfriend, would I find total contentment in shopping for hours alone? (Probably). Would I be different?

I wonder.

There is no way to know what my life would be like with love in it. I imagine I would make time for a boyfriend. Would other parts of my life suffer? That’s not likely. I am only attracted to and I only attract Alpha males — ambitious, busy, go-getters. I’m that way too. So, it’s likely that he and I would both have a lot going on in our lives. He wouldn’t feel neglected because I have to be at work at 730am one day or if I’m up until 230am choosing articles to post on FXP. At the same time, would I be relaxing with him on the couch and suddendly decide to don sweats and needlessly burn the midnight oil at my desk at work?

Not likely.

But until then…