I Call Him “Genuine”.
“And now I will show you the most excellent way...” –1Corinthians 12:31
I haven’t written about him at all in this blog. Partly because I feel like words can diminish that which can’t be put into words. Partly because it’s simply harder to write about good things than it is about bad things. But mostly because it just feels odd after years of rehashing doomed-from-the-start relationships and learned lessons I could’ve done without, to now sit down and write about a new relationship that is so wonderful, I didn’t need any of those previous lessons. It’s like I got a PhD in Bio-Chem only to become a stay at home mom: what a waste of time!
My whole plan of turning my perpetual pain into my magnificent meal ticket by writing a best-seller about “what NOT to do” is pretty much out the window. Alas, I’m happy and I’d take the happiness I feel right now in this moment (and every moment since I’ve started dating him) over any amount of money.
I guess it’s not fair to say I can’t use anything I’ve learned. I can. And I’m still learning. I’m a writer and I think writers can pull a “lesson” out of any situation if only because writing about a lesson you learned is Personal Essay Writing 101. The lessons I’m learning this time are like learning in a class I love though. Sure, the material can be difficult because it may require me to unlearn what I have ingrained in my head (any journalism major who previously excelled in creative writing knows exactly what I’m talking about), but mostly it just comes easily and naturally.
In fact, “easy” and “natural” are the best two words I can use to describe my relationship with Genuine. There’s no drama, no ridiculousness, no guessing, no games, no excuses, no lopsidedness, no extra people, no rollercoastering, nothing contrived, nothing difficult. Just easy and natural. We are two people who like each other and want to be in a relationship with each other. Imagine that!
Being with Genuine was a shock to my system at first.
It sounds dramatic but it’s true. He is the complete opposite of what I’m used to, but exactly what I’ve always wanted.
I liken it to being in a dark room for a long time. My eyes had completely adjusted to the darkness. In my own estimation, I could see fine – so fine that I didn’t even realize I was in the dark. Until someone came along and flicked on the light. All of the sudden my world was illuminated….and my eyes were not ready for it. And what is the first thing that people whose eyes have adjusted to the dark do when the light comes on (and sometimes only in anticipation of the light coming on)? They immediately shut their eyes. It’s a reflexive, desperate and futile attempt to go back to the dark they are comfortable with. Some even cover their hand over their closed eyes trying harder to make it dark again. They eventually surrender to the light though because they know that the adjusting is painful at first, but the light is so much better than the darkness.
And it is. So much better.
He is the greatest guy. Ever. If Genuine and I ended our relationship today, I would still say that he is so much better than *any* guy I have ever liked in my entire life and he treats me better than every single one. Combined.
I hate to sound like I’m bragging (which is another reason why it’s hard for me to write about our relationship), but I am sublimely happy. God truly blessed me by bringing him into my life. I used to pray and ask God: “Lord, are You kidding me? Am I really imagining a thought for my love life that is higher than Yours?” Clearly not.
Genuine is handsome, Christian , super-duper-luper nice, incredibly thoughtful, really smart, impressively creative, consistently calm, caring, motivated, patient, dedicated, honest, mature….I could go on for days. He’s great.
Ironically, I’ve known Genuine for a long time in passing and I guess the cliché is true: Sometimes what you’re looking for is right in front of your face. That’s funny because I was wholly convinced that I didn’t know a single man in the world that I could have a functional relationship with. I knew he was out there, I just assumed he was out there. But nope, he’s right here and he has been all along. Wow.
A major part of me wishes I wouldn’t have wasted my time on people who were definitely NOT Genuine (or genuine for that matter). What was the point? But there’s nothing I can do about the past and it’s best for me to not focus on it. Besides, maybe having a Ph.D. in Bio-Chem makes a proverbial woman all the more appreciative of being a stay-at-home mom.