When we first started planning our wedding back in May, one of the first things I said was “no flowers.” We’re all about saving money when it comes to this wedding and, for us, flowers were the easiest thing to eliminate. They’re a total waste of money and just another part of the whole wedding industry scheme to separate couples from their money in the name of traditions the couple doesn’t even care about.
I’m not really an Offbeat Bride. There are some wedding traditions that are important to me: white dress, bridesmaids, dancing etc. But there are definitely some I couldn’t care less about. Flowers are at the top of the list, right underneath favors, wedding programs, tuxedos for the groomsmen and (recently added) seat covers.
It’s not that I don’t like flowers. I absolutely love it when my fiance surprises me with flowers! But wedding flowers are an entirely different story.
First of all, they’re mega-expensive. Two thousand dollars for one afternoon?! And that’s on the *low* end. Second, I don’t even understand why everyone needs a flower anyway.
MOMS – Why would my mom be wearing a corsage? This isn’t her senior prom. The corsage is to designate that she’s my mom? I think that will be pretty clear. Same for my fiance’s mom. They don’t need a plant pinned to their chest to designate their importance.
GROOMSMEN – Don’t get me started on the boutonnieres. (I can’t even spell “boutonnieres”.) I haven’t decided if I like the way they look.
I think pocket squares are better…
Definitely not both…
I don’t even know why either is necessary. You know what will designate them as the groomsmen? The fact that they are standing at the altar behind the groom.
FLOWER GIRLS – Okay, you’re not a flower girl without any flowers. That’s understandable.
BRIDESMAIDS – My leading ladies. There are so many options for bridesmaids that don’t include my bridesmaid bouquet money ending up in the trash with the dirty napkins after the reception. I looked up a few…
The ideas are endless, but I keep coming back to flowers.
It’s not that I don’t want them to carry flowers. I actually think it looks really pretty. It’s just so expensive. Granted, this is mostly because I have nine bridesmaids. Still, why should I leave one of my friends out of my wedding because the darn bouquets are out of my price range? Seriously, $30-$100 per person for flowers they’re not even going to want after we are announced in the reception just seems like a colossal waste of money.
BRIDE – I don’t even know if I should get started on bride bouquets. There are the alternatives I listed above and then some!
Can’t I just channel Grace Kelly and carry a Bible down the aisle?
Better yet, my stepdad is escorting me, so can I walk down the aisle empty handed? I walk around empty handed every single day. Why has the wedding industry convinced me that my wedding will not be complete if I’m not clutching a $400 rose bouquet accented with crystals? Again, the bouquets are GORGEOUS, but they’re Such.A.Waste.Of.Money.
The money sucking industry doesn’t even stop with the bouquets! After the wedding, florists suggest you to pay to have the bouquet frozen and preserved. What does that even mean? What am I going to do with a frozen bouquet of flowers? Put it next to the box in the attic that’s going to be “preserving” my wedding dress I guess. All I see are (wasted) dollar signs.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some flower hater. It’s just frustrating that flowers cost SO much simply because it’s a wedding. I’m sure whoever started this whole “flowers at a wedding thing” back in the 1700’s was using the flowers and weeds in her backyard as a nice touch, now in 2012, this “nice touch” has morphed into an absolute wedding necessity that can cost you more than a downpayment on a car!
Actually, I did read somewhere that, a long time ago, people usually only bathed once a year if that. So a bride carried a bouquet of fresh flowers to cover up the smell of being unclean. Ummmm…I shower every day and therefore, I don’t need flowers to cover up any sort of stench.
On that note, lately, silk flowers have become appealing to me. These too, however, can be expensive considering you’re getting a fake flower. Some people balk at the idea of fake flowers as though there is something noble about tossing two grand worth of real flowers in the nearest trash can after a reception. Fake flowers do the same job for less money. Sure, real flowers smell better, but if someone’s aunt is coming to my wedding to stick her face in all of the flowers, then she needs to let me know beforehand so I can warn her not to come.
I’ve considered going to Michael’s and making my own bouquets, but then thought maybe I could order them online. I do know I need to stay away from Etsy.com. Those women are selling FAKE bride bouquets for $300! Plus shipping. One bouquet for three HUNDRED bucks?! That’s someone’s rent.
The main thing for my fiance and I is the pictures. Our photographer is amazing and I want our pictures to be gorgeous. I don’t need to preserve flowers, a wedding dress, a pack of weave, or anything else wedding related because we are going to have our pictures and our memories. If having flowers means better pictures, then I’m getting them. If it doesn’t make a difference, then what’s the point?
So, it’s 23 days until my wedding and I still haven’t figured out the “flower thing”. Am I going to pay one of my friends to make the bouquets from real flowers I buy at Costco? Am I going to go to Michael’s and make some fake flower bouquets myself? Am I going to order fake flower bouquets from a website on the internet? Am I going to procrastinate this purchase so long that I end up nixing the flower thing and ending up (gasp!) married anyway?
I have to keep myself grounded throughout this process with the knowledge that as long as my fiance and I have our minister, marriage license and photographer, we’re getting married. Wedding planning means constantly having to separate “nice to haves” and “wants” from “would be bummed if we didn’t have” and “NEED to have”. Of course, we would like to have everything that the wedding industry is selling–complete with monogrammed toilet paper for the bathrooms– but we don’t NEED anything else. Not even flowers.
So we’ll see. I’m not shelving the idea just yet, but I’m not sold either.