Whenever people ask me how I’m doing, this is usually my response: “I’m still rolling!”
I’m not able to walk for a few more (agonizing!) weeks, so I’m literally “still rolling” around on my scooter. But I’m also not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. As much as I can help it, I’m remaining as active as possible – even if that activity involves more sitting than normal. I’m moving forward with my life after the accident. So, in that way as well, I’m “still rolling”.
I am one of those people who tries to find the meaning for and reason behind everything. Every. Single. Thing. And when you live like that, you find it easier and easier to explain nearly every situation or occurence: good or bad. Sometimes the reason or meaning isn’t layered or groundbreaking, sometimes the “reason” is I made a stupid choice. Or the reason is God answers prayer. But more often than not, there is always a way to explain what’s going on.
However, in this particular situation (though I thank God every day that what could have happened did not happen), I’m struggling to find the meaning or reason for getting into a frightening car accident, losing my car, enduring a hospital stay, and being unable to walk for a while.
Eventually, I decided that just because I don’t know the reason doesn’t mean I can’t make the most of it. And while purpose of this situation eludes me, I’m searching for opportunity in the midst of it all. (Searching for it in between spontaneous sobs and not-at-all-irrational anger, of course!)
Lately, I’ve been using this time to complete projects I’ve been putting off for want of finding time to sit down for a while. (Case in point: I finished editing my 11-minute Jesus Culture interview, recorded a clothing haul, read The Alchemist…and I’m updating this blog again!)
I’m not going to pretend that my foot injury has been anything but absolutely miserable, but I am blessed with the ability to see past misery and locate opportunity.
One of my favorite quotes is by John Milton: “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven…”
I like that because it’s a reminder that negative thoughts can muddy up an incredibly positive and blessed situation and positive thoughts can transform a mucky, negative situation.
It’s a daily decision, but each day I am deciding to “keep rolling” and eventually I will roll right off of this scooter and back in my stilettos. In the meantime, God only knows what I will accomplish!