The Land of Dreams Unfulfilled

landfill

Where do dreams go to die? Where do they go to get the possibility sucked out of them? Where is the land of dreams unfulfilled?

I want to know, so I can stay far away from that place.

I fear. I fear being one of those people who had so many dreams and aspirations yet ends up working 40hrs a week as the supervisor at the Post Office. No one  aspires to do that, so how do they end up that way? How does someone end up being the customer service rep at  Insight Cable? I go to pay my bill, but can’t help staring at the woman behind the counter forcing myself not to ask her: “What happened? How did this become your life?” I want to ask the middle-aged Walmart cashier “what happened?”

I want to know, so I can be sure what happened to them doesn’t happen to me. Continue reading “The Land of Dreams Unfulfilled”

Clearly I’m Bored

Going Back to the Drawing Board

“And [Jesus] replied to [the disciples], This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting. – Mark 9:29

Square 1I think I’m going to begin a fast this week. I haven’t fasted in FOREVER. I used to fast all the time –  I would fast something 40 days around Easter;  fast meat and sweets for 21 days in January; fast all solid food for a day or three here and there in undergrad. Lately though, in the past year or two, I haven’t fasted at all. I feel like God has been telling me I should go on a fast and commit myself to prayer and reading the Bible for a period of time.

I’ve been struggling with some things and I just want to be free from them for good.

Fasting isn’t a hunger strike against God, demanding that he make a change. Fasting brings a heightened spiritual awareness and attentiveness to God. Some people fast TV watching, some fast junk food, some fast everything except water. Some fasts last half a day to more than 40 days. I know a guy who fasted solid food for 40 days straight.

I’m not doing that.

But I do think some fast is necessary in my life right now. Continue reading “Going Back to the Drawing Board”

The Worst Thing About Living Alone

Insects.

I have a stand-off with some sort of insect in my apartment once every few weeks. They can last for up to an hour. I am a thousand times bigger than them but I’m petrified.

Today’s scary insect? A ladybug.

OhioU Halloween

I’m supposed to go to Halloween at OU tonight. The Halloween party at Ohio University is a statewide party where people who go to OU, used to go to OU, or know someone’s brother/cousin/uncle who went to OU all come to campus and kick it ALL night…and then some. Don’t forget that extra hour!

I attended OU for four years and only went once (my senior year). I had a BALL. I wore my cheerleading uniform from my junior year of highschool (poms, ribbons, spanx and all) :

Halloween'08Shoutouts to Jonesboro High School!!!

Continue reading “OhioU Halloween”

Death to expectations

Having no expectations means that I cannot be disappointed. I’m done with disappointment because I’m done expecting things out of people & situations.

The only person I need to expect something out of is God and he has yet to disappoint me.

Disappearing Acts

disappearI had fun hanging with the [haven’t thought of a name for him yet]. He came to my apt and we chilled and talked for about two or three hours. He is tall, Christian, cute and nice and older. Sounds perfect huh? He seems like an all-around great guy. I’m not sure if he’s feeling me. I never can tell. I am relentless in hope even though he’s been doing the push/pull for a few months now. I wonder when I’ll hear from him again. Maybe I’ll hear from him before 2010.

Truthfully, guys do this to me all the time.

Continue reading “Disappearing Acts”

The Difference

The other night, I was sitting at home alone chilling and watching Friends on DVD (I LOVE that show). Suddendly, I decided to go back to work. I figured I could get some work done and get ahead for the next day.

Once I got to my desk, I thought about how silly it was that I was sitting at work all alone on a Thursday night trying to get ahead. I need a life, I remember thinking to myself. Then, like the social networking junkie that I am, I updated my Facebook status: “Who puts on sweats and goes to the office at 10pm to do work? #thelifeofasinglegirl.” A few days later, one of my guy friends commented on my status: “So are you saying you wouldn’t do that if you weren’t single? Thats silly.” At first I was annoyed at his statement, but then I began to think…

Would I be different if I were in a serious relationship?

Continue reading “The Difference”

The Best Thing

The best thing about being single is that every day holds the potential to meet a fabulous guy. Even if that guy doesn’t turn out to be the love of my life….or even my love of the month, it’s still nice to always have the opportunity. Every single day while I’m going through my routine, there is the potential to meet a great guy. It’s enough to make me get dressed cute every day. I truly never know who I will see. And even if I don’t meet a guy that day, I can at least go on Skype and flirt with a random guy I initially met on Twitter…

That’s always fun 🙂

Let Hope Die…

ghosts_of_girlfriends_past_xlgI know I’m super-duper-luper late, but I finally rented “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” from RedBox and it was everything I expected….and the reason I didn’t go see it in the theater: a rom-com (short for “romantic comedy and the politically correct term for chick-flick), centered around a womanizing man who is confronted by the hearts he broke and ultimately sees the error in his ways. He apologizes to the girl he hurt the most and they live happily ever after.

Timeout.

Does this happen in real life?

Continue reading “Let Hope Die…”

Like you didn’t know…

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Bare Nails

Right now, I am sitting at work with bare nails. Why? Because I thought it would be possible (and a good idea) to get my nails done on my lunch break.

Wrong.

Well, not necessarily “wrong”. I just need to remember that I only have an hour lunch break. Sixty minutes to get from the timeclock and back. What I planned for today would have taken me at LEAST an hour and thirty minutes.

What was I thinking?

Clockout at 1240. Go to O’Charleys and wait for four rolls. Sit in the car chatting with my mom on the phone then go in the nail place. I sat down in the chair after 1pm. That shouldve been the first sign.

Continue reading “Bare Nails”