Going Relaxer Free…and Hating Every Minute of It.

It seems every time you read a post about a black woman “going natural” after years of relaxing her hair, the writing is normally a glowing, OMG-this-is-the-best-decision-ever, wish-I-woulda-done-it-sooner review.

Well, it’s been almost 11 months since I decided to stop getting relaxers in January and let me speak for all of those who agree and say: THIS. SUCKS.

If I didn’t have this obsessive need to finish what I’ve started and an inability to let things like time, energy and money go to waste without getting something out it (both a virtue and a vice), then I would get a relaxer tonight.

To be fair, this hellish transition is probably made all the worse because I refused to do the Big Chop and instead opted to grow my relaxer out and trim the ends gradually.

I don’t regret that choice. I will relax my hair again before I’d ever consider putting the scissors to the better portion of my tresses. Short hair is not for me and promises that “it will grow back” from anyone other than GOD himself go in one ear and out the other!

Full disclosure: my reasons were purely vain when I decided to go relaxer-free. (I hate saying “natural” because many “natural” girls are anything but. Listen, if you have weave in your hair or if your hair is colored or altered in any way un-naturally then you are not “natural”, but I digress…).

After Chris Rock released “Good Hair”, it seemed everyone started talking about going perm-free. Ignoring the hype, I was still adamantly against it for a solid two years: Why would I stop relaxing my hair? I thought. My hair will be swinging from the root in my casket. I had heard all of the horror stories about relaxers from the ridiculous “they melt your brain OMG!” to the valid “you don’t have any style versatility”. I’d heard some reasons such as people wanting to buck against the trend and reject the Eurocentric standard of beauty (because straight hair is a “Whites only” thing? O_O). But it was my hair stylist who convinced me with these words: “If you stop getting relaxers, your hair will grow.” She promised I could still wear my hair bone straight and, though the process would take longer, I could do it without having to cut my hair.

Sold!

What she neglected to tell me is that most hair salons (herself included) charge extra to style natural hair – even if you only have a little bit of new growth. That’s ludicrous! The amount of time and energy to get my hair washed, dried and straightened is the same, so why am I paying extra just because I don’t have a relaxer?

Something else to consider when deciding to quit relaxers is exercise.

This black girl runs. Every morning. And no matter what I do, my roots get sweated out. This used to be no problem when I had a relaxer. I would leave my wrapped hair tied in a scarf, blowdry it while paying particular attention to the middle, then take off the scarf and comb my hair down. Now? My roots are SO puffy it is virtually impossible to get them dry that way and if it does get dry, it is STILL thick and poofy.

But keeping my ever-growing, unrelaxed roots straight when working out every day is a losing battle.

So I ask myself, poufy stomach or poufy hair? Poufy hair.

But, with a a relaxer, I was able to easily have flat abs and flat hair.

The other day, these persistent thoughts led to me staring into the mirror, frustrated with my hair and asking myself what was stopping me from booking a relaxer hair appointment with my nearest salon.

Why am I doing this? I asked myself.

For my hair to grow longer, I reminded myself.

But who can tell how long my hair is if it poufy every day? I mused.

I have found some different style alternatives, some I’d never considered before going relaxer-free:

Headband <— Easy


Weave <—- CRAZY expensive

Hat <—All tied up

Wild and crazy <—This is the most fun

Still wet

Mostly dry

Part of me wants to finish this thing out just to see what happens. I’ve gotten this far and if I turn back now, I will never go down this road again.

I probably just need to quit crying and tough it out…if only to say I did it. I can always go back to a relaxer after this process is over.

I hope I can at least tell other women with a similar grade and length of hair as mine who are active and considering quitting relaxers for vanity’s purposes to first consider, consider, consider!…and then consider some more!  Now, if you want to stop getting relaxers because you have damaged hair, hate wearing your hair straight, haven’t broken a sweat in a decade, don’t mind shelling out a small fortune at the salon, are willing to chop off your hair, are being overcome by curiosity, or just want to get back to your “African roots” then by all means go for it.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re like me and just want your hair to get to its fullest potential length-wise then I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it. I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into.

It’s not always easy. It’s not always fun. It will not transition overnight. You won’t know what to do with your hair some days. You’re going to feel like crying and you may even find yourself roaming in the boxed relaxer section of your local Walmart even though you don’t know the first thing about putting a relaxer in your own head. You’ll think to yourself it’s got to be easier than THIS.

And maybe you won’t. Maybe you will join the legions of women who are apparently loving the process and haven’t looked back. I am not that woman. I look back often.

This transition is not for everyone. The verdict is still out if it’s for me.

I’ll keep you posted.

51 thoughts on “Going Relaxer Free…and Hating Every Minute of It.

  1. Jameil says:

    One of my friends refuses to BC also and is having similar transition angst. I didn’t want short hair so I held off on BCing until the ‘what to do with this hair’ foolishness drove me up a wall. I’ve never had hair patience anyway. I felt instantly better after the BC but I don’t recommend anyone do anything they don’t want to do. It’s your hair, your choice. I’m glad you’ve found some things that work for you AND that you’ve made your health a priority! Also, your wild & crazy is SO CUTE!!!

    Team natural might be the most annoying thing in blackness right now and I’ve been relaxer-free for 8 years. AND people look horrified when I tell them after these 2yo locs run their course, I might get a perm again. It’s hair… True story: My husband said ‘How do you rant about #teamnatural when your hair is 4 different colors?’ He was promptly unfollowed by multiple people. LOLOL!

    Like

  2. Esther says:

    I have an amazing friend here in SD who has taught me so much about black women hair. Just yesterday she brought me the DVD of Good Hair by Chris Rock since I’ve been longing to watch it. Anyways my friend has not done a relaxer in a long time as well. I think wild and crazy as you put it is beautiful. I will be passing your blog to my friend. She will enjoy this.

    Like

  3. max says:

    I’m with you. Being natural (despite the fact that my hair is highlighted to be damned, I feel like the pain I endure entitles me to consider myself natural) is a lot of work. But I persevere because my hair grows longer and is healthier without one.

    Have you considered a keratin treatment? I recently tried the Liquid Keratin at-home thing. I had to wash it out because it turned my highlights orange when I did a strand test, but it definitely helps. Your hair dries way faster and gets way straighter than you can ever get it on your own.

    Like

  4. Eric Simmer says:

    I’m a guy so I don’t know if that changes anything but I’m absolutely horrified by the idea of a relaxer. I don’t think they look good at all, in fact they look really fake on most people and their hair smells burnt and I don’t like that. I think there are natural hair styles that do take time but look nice and if that is you in the pictures, you’re really cute so you have nothing to worry about! I think girls over-think how they look and end up undoing what if already beautiful.

    Like

  5. Flyy says:

    I think the issue that you will find is wanting straight hair while being relaxer-free is almost an oxymoron. It can happen… but it takes ALOT of work (as you are finding out) and it doesnt last very long. Besides the heat process that you have to take your hair through – especially if you plan to do this on the regular – will damage it eventually, so you might as well have opted for the relaxer. Of course this all based on the texture of your hair but I’m a transitioning (2nd time) relaxer-free/natural and even though I love straight hair attaining it is a hellish process. Being relaxer-free/natural is allowing your hair to do what it would’ve done from the onset and being straight for most black women ain’t it…

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  6. Kennie says:

    Oh. My. Goodness. This entire blog sounds like a sound bite taken from my life!!! I too will be a year without a relaxer come January, and every minute of it has sucked. Well, it was okay at the beginning because I was feeling extra confident, but now? Not so much. I also know what you mean about the poofy roots that you get after exercising. I tried to explain this to a natural co-worker and her advice to me was to stop working out! Are you kidding me?! The jury’s still out for me too, even though I am leaning towards going back to “the white creamy crack” but I do wish you the best. Your hair looks good… way better than my poof-ball LOL.

    Like

    • TB says:

      Wow…this really is shedding some light for me. As I was all on board today to go natural. Having second thoughts! How was the breakage?

      Like

  7. Shannon says:

    Omg! Hilarious! I am not yet ready for Team natural…..I too think its a hustle and DEFINITELY a personal decision! On some of my friends it looks SO cute and full of personality! I’m not so patient with my hair (not even willing to grow it out right now) this endeavor woukd be gRUELING right now. Although with running, i have had 1 relaxers where i thought my scalp was going to “melt right off” (open pores from running) i just cant bring myself to rehab my creamy crack addiction. I sometimes wonder if it is just another who to divide us…”are you natural?”, “do you relax your hair?” blah blah blah.Some days I do want to see what my natural texture can do….but I am a product junkie as it is and I know this would be an expensive transition. …alas, thanks for sharing!

    Like

  8. JLLI says:

    another hair alternative is to get braids, which is how i transitiioned. getting braids for a year allows enough new growth to come in that you can cut all the relaxed part off in one chop and still have a decent length.

    Like

    • Donna says:

      loved your comment…i just had a relaxer and once again said “no more”
      would love to try braids but have heard too many people say it will take your hair out. Really need to give my hair a break and also will be traveling in November to the carribean for 2 weeks. Any suggestions,
      also, i have really fine hair. Thanks

      Like

  9. sexychicblog says:

    Reblogged this on sexychicblog and commented:
    I feel the same way about being relaxer free. I hate it! Can’t wait to get my relaxer back. The only good thing that came from it was all the experimenting I did with weaves, wigs, and color. I finally added some sale to my hair. Now with my relaxer back it’ll be even better!

    Like

  10. cyn94601 says:

    I’m clearly late for this article but had to add my comment. I wore my hair in its natural state for over 10 years. I wore it short in the 90s and my mom thought I was crazy! It was liberating, fun and easy. I looked sharp and put together – although I did have to get a hair cut weekly. The best part is that I learned that “I am not my hair!”. The way I wear my hair isn’t a choice that makes any other previous or subsequent hair choices good or bad – only makes them a choice. What has always troubled me is the fact that even in the 21st century we have some people that think it’s revolutionary or some lesbian statement to wear your hair in it’s natural state. What I hope every one learns is that we have choices and have the right to exercise them with our hair as often as we choose!

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  11. Tai @ StrandedHHJ says:

    I’m on the fence about going relaxer free. I’m in a long-term stretch right now but not sure if I’m just taking an extended break from relaxers or if I’m secretly transitioning. I’ve decided to put Senegalese twists in my hair for 2 months and reassess when I take them down.

    I think your stylist was beating you in the head about going natural so your hair can grow. Your hair can grow whether it’s natural or relaxed; it just requires maintenance. More power to you for being chemical free, though 🙂

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  12. Jacqueline Sharon Evans-Black says:

    I am certainly going “natural” just for the length and health of my hair. I always had great hair growing up but thought that a relaxer was what I needed, but it is doing more harm than good. I have been scouring the internet for a week since my decision looking for transitioning styles and all I found were afros and I got discouraged, I simply want a ‘fro, I am a ponytail girl to the core and I like to do funky things with my hair. A ‘fro is just a ‘fro not much room for interpretation. I workout 6 times a week and I am already feeling stressed about that part of my “transitioning” process. I don’t know what kind hair texture you have but mine is pretty kinky but manageable if I do it right. Thanks to you for being realistic about “transitioning,” and not making it seem so glorious, cause only a week into this I am feeling distraught already.

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  13. ronni says:

    I have been natural for only 3 months. I did the BC because i like instant gratification and hated dealing with two hair textures. For me its much easier to deal with after hitting the gym because i can just wash and go– no blow drying necessary. I can also grow with my hair as it grows and embrace it. Yes it is difficult sometimes. There have been times when i hated being without a relaxer and wondered why i ever did it. Other times i love it. I guess its like anything else. Like when you buy an outfit and wear it one day and say to yourself “what was i thinking?”.

    Its only hair; you make the hair style, not the other way around. And if you decide to go back to relaxers thats fine too! Trust me the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. Im wearing a wig right now– a big curly one that matches my texture. Not because i hate my hair but because this wig is so darn cute and i make it look hot : )

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  14. Fifi Whitman says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I have opted for the weave because I too workout. I am going into my 6th month of transitioning to natural. Honestly I hear the creamy crack calling…SAD! Nonetheless, my other alternative is to have my hair braided down and throw a stocking cap on it and top it off with a wig. I did this at my first attempt to go natural. When at the gym, wig off, tie a scarf over it.

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  15. Evelyn h says:

    OMG ! Lawd help me Lol !!! I am natural for over a year, weave,braids twist and wigs
    I don’t know what
    to do i’ve done them all but I do know that I am staying natural,I put in the perm and I’ll have noooo hair!
    Maybe I’ll try the big (well semi big) curly wig I mean, I love that curly spirally look,but everything doesn’t look good on good ol’ me.
    Can’t do press, I’m an older woman and I sweat
    profusely! Thinking I’ll go to the braider and have natural fluffed styled hair weaved in
    See… ! There, case closed!!!
    I think!
    Details at 11 !
    I’ll get back to ya to let you know how things
    Turn out!
    This cannot be my life LOL!!!!

    Like

  16. Pamela says:

    I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to read this. I am 3.5 months into needing a perm and was thinking of going natural. This is about the 12th time Ive tried. I can’t make it past 4 months. It’s just too much work. This is the first article I’ve read that dealt with the honest side of this whole thing. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  17. Shelbi says:

    I have a relative who has always had long hair (to the middle of her back). She told me to pull my hair into a tight pony after a wash/condition. Then she uses a flat iron as needed.

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  18. Shelbi says:

    She also puts oil on the ends of her hair every night. It works for me and I’ve gone relaxer free without breakage. Now I have hair down the middle of my back- something which I have never had before.

    Like

  19. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks, Alissa, for this post. I have not had a relaxer since March 2012. I have been getting my hair pressed and flat ironed since, which from what I read on other sites today, may not be good. I initially started the transition because I didn’t want to be dependent on chemicals anymore. But, I love for my hair to look straight and before I even started getting relaxers, my hair seemed to do good being pressed. Today, is definitely one of my days that I feel like “crying” and calling the salon to make an appt to get another relaxer. I don’t really know what to do 😦 But, at least when I read your article, I felt some comfort 🙂 so for that I say “thanks”.

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  20. shanice says:

    Really liked this article! I’m transitioning from my relax hair and its really hard for me! I did the big chop and oh boy I regret it, short hair is not my thing!! My hair is growing soo thick and I’m not sure how to handle it but I keep braiding it and it’s going good! I just hope I continue and I get the desired length I previously had! Great article!!

    Like

  21. kimoncrief says:

    Sooooo happy to b reading this. I am 21 and have gotten perms most of my life. When I went off to college to ease the need to do my hair I kept sew ins in my hair. When I took my sew in down, my hair had grown so much, it was thick and healthy. I got my ends clipped and decided to get a relaxer to straighten my hair -_-. It thinned out and broke off, so back to the sew ins for a while to grow it back out and no more perms. Just took my sew ins out and have only been relaxer free for a few months and its hell. Everytime I walk into the store I’m tempted to just buy a kit lol it is a struggle because I too deal with sweaty roots but I love the idea of growing my hair out healthy without chemicals and it keeps me motivated. I hoping its worth all the time and effort.

    Like

  22. Kim says:

    Thank you … thank you … thank you for this honest commentary on going natural. I thought I was the only one who felt this way.
    It has been two years since I stopped getting a perm, and it is sooooo hard. I feel totally dependent on my stylist because I cannot handle my hair on my own.
    When I get it done at the salon (flat ironed, pressed), it looks beautiful for about three days before it goes back to a state of poof, and I’m counting down the days to run back to the salon. I just called my stylist yesterday and scheduled a appt for a perm!! I can’t take it anymore!!

    Like

  23. Tanzania says:

    Hey everyone ok I’m natural haven’t had a perm in over three years. And I want to stay that way. I love my hair straight is there there a way I can be natural and still have my straight hair. And still not use that much heat and allow it to grow . I get wash and set but it doesn’t last that long. I’m really not trying to do the curl hair thing until it get a little longer. Or heat once a year thats not my style. What tips can you give?

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    • Kiera says:

      hey! so I texlaxed my hair (underprocessed relaxer) I left the relaxer in my hair for 5-6 min. the result: still curly natural-looking hair but when I straighten it, it stays straight for days without frizz and reverting. but i only straighten once every six months. I still teat my hair like its natural aswell and it thrives, its just as healthy. I plan on only get a texlax treatment once a year or maybe every two years. Because the weight of my hair now stretches my newgrowth so my shrikage issue doesnt bother me anymore. my newgroth isnt bothersome either, its actually blending into the texlax hair. but thats just me and what Im doing. I would ofcourse evaluate your hair and how you care for it before texlaxing though.

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  24. yvonne palin says:

    I had been relaxing my hair just oer two years ago finally my hair broke off despte spending a fortune with trying to maintain ti ti started using weaves, well tracks at first: massive mistake.used weaves then because my hair was such a mess. Went through the natural process as you say it is painful by this stage i had lost a lot of my length, my sides where so weak. It grew then i thoghtgetturied. ry laste that i putnything in my hair that is unatural. Natural is the only solution, as long as i respect my hair rcondition it daily andv excetcise and of course ieat the right foods i truely believeu can train ur hair to in any style i wish and feel San sexy!

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  25. Overnight Reputation says:

    Just desire to say your article is as astounding. The clarity in your submit is simply great and that i could suppose you’re a professional in this subject. Fine along with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to stay up to date with impending post. Thank you one million and please keep up the rewarding work.

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  26. India says:

    When you are running or working out put your hair in several pony tails to keep the roots stretched. and let it dry completely before you take them down. your hair should still be stretched. I usually wear several little ponytails and make sure your sections are smaller in the area that tend to revert faster ( the vertex and the perimeter)

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  27. Tyler says:

    Great post. It’s honest and is expressed well. I relaxed my hair for the first time nearly 5 months ago. The new embarked journey hasn’t been so pleasant for me,and I’ve been considering returning back to my dread journey. It’s not for everyone. You just have to find what works best for you and weigh out your options. I’ve read on many websites that hair grows the most when you leave it alone. It could very well be true. I had dreads for a year and a half,and when I took them all out, I was in disbelief of all the hair that I had.

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  28. Tiffany says:

    The most honest thing I’ve read about transitioning! I stopped because I didn’t want to be old and bald headed. I have a strong head of hair and I want to keep it. I got a relaxer when I was 6 yo and now I’m 32 and have been in transition for a year. I still get it flat ironed, so I don’t deal with it while its wet. I HATE getting my hair combed out. I imagine that when I do chop it off, I will be able to exercise, wash my hair and condition it heavily and go! Is that not the case for you? I felt like with a relaxer, exercise would make it stinky. I often ask myself “Why did I do this?” So I remind myself that I will hopefully have hair when I’m old, and be healthier because I exercise, and gain back 3 hours of my life in a hair salon. We shall see. Thank you for sharing. I’m not the only one who feels this way.

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  29. Dee says:

    Great article!!! I was laughing the whole way. It echoes exactly what I’m feeling. I’ve been thinking all evening about the relaxer kit just 10 minutes away at the local drugstore. I’m about 4-5 months in, but the “poofs” are driven me crazy. I didn’t do the BC, I’d look horrible with a short fro. My hair is not coiled, or curly, it’s dry and kinky and not particularly gorgeous. I’m now considering a touch up every 6 months or so just to make life easier and keep my overall look more polished. Thanks for keeping it so real- if I’d read another “this is so great!” article, I was gonna scream.

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  30. Ms_Rell says:

    Love your post. I commend you for your 11+ month struggle. It is not an easy process. I am 8.5yrs into unrelaxed hair and although I always had beautiful hair that naturally turns into luxurious spiral curls the minute water touches my scalp I do sometimes miss the ease of a relaxer. Natural hair means you have to wake up every morning, look out the window and decide if you want to battle the heat and try to wear it straight, or the wet mop (as I like to call it) jheri curl look. My hair never dries whenever I wear it wet. The middle stays wet for at least 3 days.

    My transition started in March of 2005 when it simply slipped my mind to get a retouch. After a few months I just let my hair begin this process of growing it out with a short bob. Eventually I let me hair grow out to the point where I just had my hairdresser cut the ends with the relaxer off. I continued to attempt straightening my hair with a flat iron which took hours and stunk up my entire apt. I sometimes got it straigtened at a salon with a straightening comb but nothing smells worse than wet hair that has been straightened. Year after year I developed my own curly styles by applying tresemme bouncy curls and ampro gel to my locks and blow dried the curls with a diffuser attachment. I would wear it up in chopsticks this way, half up, half down, you name it.

    A few years ago I started getting my hair blown out at a spa by a white women who knew how to do untreated hair and let me tell you, she hooked me up. I had Oprah hair swinging from left to right. It looked good and I thought I was onto something. Unfortunately, the moment I started sweating my roots ceased up like chicken in a frying pan. Heat was and still is my enemy. She recommended that I get the $300+ Keratin Treatment. I still haven’t tried it yet. Shoot, I barely go to the salon as is even when I had a relaxer. I would buy my $7 Alternatives brand relaxer and do it myself. I just don’t believe in paying someone millions when I can make it look just as good at home especially if I have a relaxer already.

    Although I do and always will love my unrelaxed hair, I miss the ability to just unwrap that scarf and have my hair fall into a beautiful wrap they way it used to. I wanna go back to the gym and not have to worry about my hair. Let’s not talk about date night…my poor sweetheart waited one hour a couple of times for me to tame these locks into something presentable. The one thing I hate the most is blow drying my hair. It takes me exactly one hour and I have to pause between sections because I’m sweating so bad that everything I just did is puffy again. Thousands of strands of hair are my bathroom floor and it’s just a mess. It’s exactly the reason why I go to my white hairdresser every few months. The process takes too long.

    My hair textures vary greatly depending on the amount of heat you apply. After I wash my hair, it is very curly like the spiral curl wigs people wear. Once I begin blow drying it, it then turns into the Diana Ross flowing hair that has that soft afro feel. Once I flat iron it, it becomes very smooth and flat with body and looks as if I do in fact have a relaxer after 4 hours of work. I should also note that I don’t use hair grease. I never had dry hair and when I did use it when I had a relaxer I would have to apply a very thin amount about once a mth. Just in case you’re wondering, I’m southern and west indian. My mom has very fine hair and my dad not so much.

    Although my hair is down to my bra strap now when it’s straightened, going without a relaxer neither helped or hurted my beautful locks. I always has good hair. I’m just at a point where I’ve tried the unrelaxed thing, it works and looks beautiful and I get alot of compliments but now, I’m ready for a change. I’m not sure if I will try to Keratin Treatment or get a relaxed but I’m going straight again.

    If you are considering going without a relaxer, I would strongly evaluate the products you’re using on your hair now. I’ve found the best way to acclimate your hair is to keep it moistened. Sleep with a thick conditioner in your hair and a shower cap each night. I swear by Tresemme Bouncy Curls when I wear it curly. It locks the curl in and doesn’t make it hard. Section your hair off and apply it vigorously. Once done I go over my head with ampro gel on the sides and top then seal the curl with a blow dry diffuser attachment. Also, stay out of the black hair care sections. I buy tresemme, salon selectives, loreal, etc specifically designed for curly hair. Let me tell you, Salon Selectives/Finesse have a shampoo and conditioner that will keep your hair moist and curled all day. I started using that in 2005 also.

    Hope this helps anyone in the stages of giving up. Thanks for reading!!

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  31. Dana says:

    To make you hair lay down after washing get aloe Vera gel and brush it down the way you want in the front then wear a silk or satin scarf on the front. Cotton head bands will not work well with this method. This does not solve the problem of being poofy in the back but if you wear a ponytail or any other up style you can do it tight enough that it will lay flat. I went natural in 2006 and have had 3 big chops. First one was not too bad cause I was in high school and didn’t give a sh*t. Second and third sucked. Ironically I found your site because I’m thinking of relaxing. Natural hair is a lot cheaper than relaxing. I haven’t been to the hairdresser in like 3 years but maintenance is probably similar. You still have to where a scarf to bed to prevent breakage at the edges and for the last 4 Years I have been braiding down my hair in the front and braiding in the back to keep it neat. Detangling is a nightmare. I hate it and every time I’m doing it I want to kill myself. Some people like it. I think I even used to like it and I used to like braiding my hair in cool styles too, but now I just want it to be simple and easy and still look nice. Your hairdresser is right though about it growing. Even if you don’t take care of your natural hair it will still grow. You can’t say the same about relaxed hair.

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  32. Tayanna says:

    Ladies that are natural that are having a problem with the puffy roots problem…try working out with your hair wet, like wash your hair before a workout, put your hair up, then begin the workout. I recommend doing this mostly in the summer or while indoors. I hope this thought helps!!! I am also transitioning to the natural state and I had my worries . My mom tried to go natural about 8 years ago and her hair stayed at the same length for years. Me and her have similar hair textures so I kind of scared lol. I really don’t care about the length I just want my hair to be healthy ! I’m tired of sew-ins and putting hair in my head that’s not mine , I just want run my fingers completely through my hair lol. But I haven’t had a perm in 4 years it was a decision I made mainly because I didn’t like how relaxers made my hair look. It looked really flat and my head look HUGE! Well I hope to have healthy hair soon <333 also I'm trying the method co-washing, does anyone suggest that ?

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  33. Nicole says:

    This made me so happy. I needed to see this. Just started a transition April 2014 and I have felt EACH AND EVERYONE of the emotions and had everyone of those thoughts you outlined in this blog. Thanks for making me smile. The struggle is real! Lol

    Like

  34. Sweetie25 says:

    Thank you for your honesty! You speak the truth! I just started for the second time – the first time was the BC this time it’s like your experience but only I’m 3 weeks in! If I only knew then what I know now I would have kept it natural – had no product knowledge, style info etc. Internet didn’t exist like this 10 yrs ago!

    Like

  35. Wanda says:

    Try spritzing Creme of Nature, Strength and Shine, Leave In Conditioner on the natural hair before you blow dry-it will straighten right out.

    Like

  36. Rena says:

    The best words for hair. You are awesome and sweet to take the time to share your story. I might try natural again. I am so busy it is hard. thank you so much may God bless you…

    Like

  37. Karen says:

    Agree completely. I BC’d in summer of 2013. At first it was great, but I relate to everything you said. I was mostly shocked at how expensive going natural is…much more than a relaxer and, for me, even pricier than weaving. A stylist told me that natural is more expensive because it’s more work. Ugh. I’d had dreams of liberation for my hair and my wallet. And, I haven’t seriously worked out in over a year….I chose poufy stomach over poufy hair. 😦 I hate that we have to make these choices. Great blog.

    Like

  38. Kay Ware says:

    I’m in the beginning stage of transitioning. I don’t like my wavy roots as of yet but, I’m going to see where this leads me. I do need recommendactions for good product to use & maintain healthy, shiny, not dry brittle hair & straighten. I really want to try this completely or I’m going to braids. Help me get started anyone & thank you.

    Like

  39. Shyynelle says:

    Hi,
    I came across this blog on transitioning hair and loved it! I love it because you addressed the not so good parts of transitioning. Out of curiosity, did you continue this journey or have you returned to relaxers?

    Thanks!!!

    Like

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