Month: June 2012

Overkill: Social Media Takes Celebrity Death Mourning Too Far

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This morning, I was reading my Twitter timeline and a friend posted: “If today is your birthday or 9-11, you no longer have a birthday…sorry.”

My first thought was, “What’s today?”

Then I remembered: Today is the third anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. Oops. I’d already forgotten about that.

When Michael Jackson died, the whole nation (and parts of the world) immediately went into mourning. Twitter was still fairly new back then, but my entire Timeline was flooded with tears. Facebook was the same way and television networks immediately launched into All Michael Jackson, All the Time. Each network preempted their previously scheduled programming to air packages and programs they’d undoubtedly prepared a long time ago in anticipation of his inevitable fate. Bloggers foamed at the mouth reliving the King of Pop’s greatest moments and writing about the catastrophic loss our country endured.

Me? I was indifferent.

To be fair, I may have responded to Michael Jackson’s untimely death differently had my father not been killed in a murder-suicide, literally, the day before. I don’t know though. I was a total zombie that day, but I do remember finding some comfort in the fact that the world was crying with me – even if we were crying over two different events.

The day Whitney Houston died was the day before my wedding (apparently, I have a strange relationship with celebrity deaths). Michael Jackson’s passing had prepared me for the decidedly tamer (but still hysterical!) reaction. I loved Whitney Houston’s music and “The Preachers Wife” and “Bodyguard” are two of my favorite movies. It was genuinely sad the way she died and I was really hoping she would turn her life around for one last hurrah, but you would have thought people lost their family’s matriarch the way they were carrying on when the news broke.

I’m just not a person who becomes emotionally invested in another person whom I’ve never even met. Basically, the people I see on TV are one step away from being fictional characters. I don’t want any of them to die, but I can’t imagine soaking the carpet in tears if one did.

Don’t get me wrong, I love celebrities! I love the gossip, the breakups, the makeups, the fake hair, fake marriages and fake pregnancies. I read all about it. But I don’t think there is any celebrity death I would mourn like it’s someone I know. It’s always sad when people die, but honestly, after having experienced a real tragedy I don’t get how others can truly be broken up over someone who didn’t affect their lives in any tangible way.

When I think back to the 60’s and the civil unrest that took place then and all of the assassinations and untimely deaths of people important to the progress of this nation, I think that certainly called for a national time of mourning.

Now, we fly the flag half mast for people like Penn State coach Joe Paterno and equate a tragedy like 9/11 to Michael Jackson’s death? Many people over the age of 30 can’t name a single Etta James song besides, “At Last” but were nearly calling off sick in order to mourn after she passed. It’s crazy.

Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Etta James and others are certainly icons whom affected the entertainment industry in immortal ways, but I can’t think of a single celebrity whose death would warrant even the kind of mourning reserved for a third cousin.

So if today’s your birthday, let me be the first to say: Happy Birthday.

Am I the only one who is near indifferent about celebrity deaths? Are there any celebrities whose passing is (or would be) cause for true mourning?

[Editors Note: I wrote this for MadameNoire.com in June of 2012 and it was originally posted here: http://madamenoire.com/191019/all-cried-out-a-celebritys-death-is-not-my-personal-tragedy/%5D

Spend For the Life You Have Not the Life You Want

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"Window shopping"

Are you spending for the life you have or the life you want?

That’s the question I had to ask myself as I stood in an electronic store recently mulling over an iPad purchase. As I stood there considering how much this purchase would set me back financially, I glanced down at my shoes. The rubber had all but completely worn off the bottom near my toes and it looked to be only a matter of time before my big toe came out for air. These were my only pair of decent flats to wear to work and they were at a point way past raggedy. I’d been too cheap to purchase a new pair, yet I was justifying a shiny, new electronics purchase that was easily forty times the price of a new pair of shoes.

There I stood between the life I have: a working girl who needs dress shoes for the office versus the life I want: a lucrative, self-employed woman whose line of business requires flip-flops…and the latest electronics. The lives were mutually exclusive at that point, one decidedly less expensive and the other undoubtedly rooted in fantasy. Yet, I was much more willing to throw away my life savings chasing a mirage instead of investing my disposable income to improve upon what I already possessed. Continue reading →

Don’t Call Me Fatherless

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"father and daughter"

I remember the last Father’s Day that my dad was alive.

It was three years ago. I had just graduated from college and was visiting my mom in Atlanta for the week. Before I left, I had bought my dad two Father’s Day cards. I love cards and he did too so, every year, I would take a significant amount of time searching for a funny one and a serious one. That year was no different and I found two perfect cards. In the hustle of trying to get out of the house and drive down to Atlanta in time for the Atlanta Greek Picnic, I didn’t get a chance to give my dad the cards. That’s okay, I told myself, I’ll give them to him when I get back. And off I went down South. A few days later, on Father’s Day, I called my dad to wish him a great one and thank him for the emergency money he had wired me the day before. The next day, I thought to myself that I should call him but it was late, so I decided I’d call him tomorrow.

The next morning, he was killed in a murder-suicide. Continue reading →

Goal: Run 100 Miles this Month

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100 mile run This morning, I decided I want to run 100 miles this month.

It’s June 1st and I love making new month resolutions, so it’s the perfect day to make this decision.

Why 100 miles? Because it seems like a huge number, but when I break it down, it’s really doable!

I figure there are four weeks in June, so if I run 25 miles per week then I will easily hit my goal. Well, not easily, because running is not easy but I will definitely make it to 100.

Just this week, I got lost while running a new trail and ended up running eight miles (personal record). The next day, I ran five miles with a running group and two days later I pushed myself to run ten whole miles (new personal record). I ran one mile today, but I plan to run six miles tomorrow, so that will put me at 30 for the week.

25 miles a week is 5 miles for 5 days; or 8 miles on 3 days and one mile on one day; or 10 miles on two days and five miles on one day; or 4 miles on 5 days and five miles on one day; or about 3.3 miles every single day; or a million other combos. I’m going to try to do 5 miles, 5 days per week, every week for the whole month.

I don’t have a goal of a certain time, just the amount of miles. I’d like to be able to run ten miles without stopping, but other runners have told me that if I have to stop to catch my breath, that’s okay. The miles still count! Phew! Granted, I have to actually stop. I can’t run a mile, walk a mile, run a mile then say I ran three miles. No, that’s only two. So, my goal is to actually RUN 100 miles this month.

Of course this goal has other goals inside of it. For one, if I’m going to be running like this then I need to eat healthier than I do. Thankfully, exercising seems to help me with eating healthy. This also means I’m going to have to wake up earlier. I like to run in the morning before I eat breakfast or do anything else (except I have to brush my teeth so I’m not blowing stinky breath into my own face haha). Each miles takes me about nine minutes to run, so I have to give myself about an hour. I like waking up early though cause it helps me get my day going. Plus the earlier it is, the cooler it is outside.

I thought the 100 miles a month thing was genius until I Google’d it and realized that it’s a pretty common goal. Some people even run fifty miles per WEEK. That sounds crazy…probably as crazy as running 100 miles a month sounds to some people haha.

I’m really excited though. If I can keep this up then maybe I can do it again in July and August and end up running 300 miles this summer. Or 500! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though.

Wish me luck!